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They're really simple to use, and set up in a snap. In addition to the suggestions in the article, have you ever considered attending a local munch BDSM diner meet-and-greet style get together or public play party together? My boy and I have been together over 2 years. There are as many different types and levels of kinks as there are kinksters. Fetlife to start with. Less than 3 years ago, I was in a very similar situation.